Brendan and Hockey

He's in the red jersey, white helmet and #6. He's always had #6 ever since he started playing hockey at 5-years-old.

Two of his greatest fans, sister and girlfriend!

High school hockey is over but Brendan has moved onto a new team through Anaheim Ice. It's much more physical and I hide my eyes alot more than high school hockey. They get away with alot more that's for sure. He played in this league last year too. It's definitely exciting. He loves it though! We bundle up in jackets and blankets and our boots. It's so cold in there! ..

Do You Remember These Camp Songs?

I came across this fun quiz and it brought back memories.. I got 9/10 right.
http://www.funtrivia.com/playquiz/quiz1692611362220.html

I was a big camp girl through my church when I was growing up. I went to Pioneer Girls Camp, Winter Camp, Summer Camp, Hume Lake over and over, Forest Home, and others that I can't even remember the name of. My Mom would sometimes make me go to "work day" that our church offered to earn some of the money to go. I've pulled my share of weeds and painted fences, etc. My friends would always go and we would always all get together in the same cabin and we had so much fun.

Besides the great memories of the long bus trips where we would take over the whole back seat of the big blue church bus, sitting on top of a whole row of sleeping bags the whole way looking out the back window (so dangerous and I would never want my kids to do that, but it was so fun for us and our seat each camping outing!), eating a box of cereal on the way, memories of the bus breaking down leaving us stranded on the side of the road waiting for help, our fun counselors, the drama that always happened with someone getting mad at someone for spending too much time with someone else, or the drama with boys and the tears that followed being mad at each other with our counselor in the middle trying to fix it, the campfire the Friday before you leave where everyone would just sit and cry because you are so touched, or just funny things we did, my favorite part was always the music. I LOVE camp songs. I LOVE church music.

I like the worship music that we have now in church but it's different than the music I grew up with. I love the old Baptist hymnals we had at church. I love the classic hymns. I think I can say I "collect" hymn Cd's because I have so many and I can't get enough of them. When I'm in a Christian Bookstore I go right for that kind of music to see what I don't have. I also love the song books to go with them. Just As I am, Rock Of Ages, Amazing Grace, How Great Thou Art, Softly and Tenderly, What a Friend We Have In Jesus, I love them. As a child sitting in the "big church" I can't remember many sermons but I can remember many many songs we sang. I can remember standing in the middle of my Mom and my Grandma and I can still hear them singing "The Old Rugged Cross" next to me. It's comforting music to me.

We also sang great songs in my youth department that some of my friends and I have been trying to remember the names of lately. I went to the same church from 6-weeks-old through having my first child and still have some of the same friends from then so I have great memories from that church.

Thinking About My Sister On Her Birthday

Today my sister would have turned 50-years-old. It would be very easy to write a long emotional post about how much I miss her, what we would have been doing for her 50th birthday if she were still here, and how things were normal on her last birthday, because thinking about her at all brings automatic tears, but in her memory I wanted to just post some of my favorite pictures that Lauren recently put on my computer and concentrate on how awesome it must be for her to be in heaven right now!

Lauren and Laurie.


Nichole and Laurie at the Dodger game.


The whole family at the Dodger game. I love this picture of all of them.


I think this was her birthday last year.....


I love these pictures of us scrapbooking because we had so much fun that night. This was taken last year. We talked and talked about stuff and laughed so hard at things that we were crying. We couldn't stop laughing or be serious. Lauren took a lot of pictures of us that night and I'm so glad. I love this picture where she puts her hand up to Lauren so she can get composure before the picture.


This picture makes me laugh because we both have the same expression on our face biting our bottom lip as we are trying to be serious and not laugh. So fake. :)

Where's George?

My friend gave me a dollar that he got in change with a stamp on it that said "Where's George?". It gave a website to enter the information from that dollar, the serial number, where you got it, what shape it's in, etc. and you enter your E-mail and put the dollar back in circulation and then they send you E-mail updates if people register it when they get it and you can track where it's been. The initial entry was from Amarillo, Texas in March 2005. I did this in July 2006 from Lakewood and in September 2006 it was in Santa Cruz, California and then I forgot all about it but the other day I got a new E-mail and it's now in Fowlerville, MI. Check Out Where My Dollar Has Traveled Here. It would be cool if every person registered it all along the way and told where they got it. It was pretty worn when I got it. The things people think of...I think this is interesting though. That was the first time I had ever seen this stamp and have never seen it since.

My Dad

Dad


My Dad and Lupe

Here are a few pictures of my Dad. Lupe, his caretaker, brought him over the other day. He's so cute. I really can't tell if he knows who I am. Some days I think he does but other days I think he acts the same to anyone talking to him and I'm sure he has no clue who I am. I'd like to think he does. Who knows what he is really thinking but he sure tries to talk and tell a story, you just usually can't make out what he's saying. He usually laughs at the end of his story and I love it when he does that. It breaks my heart to see him living like this but I was watching him try to tell me something the other day and I was thinking how happy I am to be able to hear his voice still, even if I can't understand anything he says. I'd give anything to be able to hear Laurie talk or my Mom. I was watching him and thinking how alot of his mannerisms are the same from when I was little. I was looking in his eyes when he spoke. It's such a debilitating disease and takes so much of them so to see some familiar things from him made me feel all kinds of emotions. I also get emotional with him because of Laurie and all we went through together with him and his sickness. It's hard to explain. I've been having emotional "missing my sister" days lately anyway.

So onto our caretaker, she's so awesome. She's the same caretaker we had when he was still living at home but when we had to put him in the home he's in now we still pay her to check-in on him four times a week for a few hours a day. She makes sure he's eating and takes him out to McDonald's or pushes him around the neighborhood in his wheelchair. I'm so thankful for her. I hate the thought of him being in a home but it helps knowing that he gets out and she's making sure he's getting a shower each day and that they are taking good care of him. He's still so strong and it's hard to move him around by yourself. I can't do it alone for sure. He doesn't help at all and you're basically holding him up or pulling him up entirely on your own. She amazes me what she does.

A funny story about my Dad, that has happened more than once.... so he basically cannot even say one word that you can understand anymore. Once in a while he will say bye if I say it enough to him but pretty much even if you ask him to say something he really tries but can't get it out then he laughs. He has an agitation time in the evening (part of the disease) and Lupe told me that when he gets agitated and annoyed with people in the home who are trying to help him he has a few curse words for them and the words come out so perfect. It's not funny but I laugh that he can remember those choice words with no problem but can't say my name! LOL.

I have really great memories of my Dad when I was growing up and my whole life really. I was always so worried when I was growing up about him not being a Christian but I'm so happy he became a Christian a week before he started getting bad. The timing was truly God and I know God has him in his care and he will be in heaven with us all.

Fun Day

Me and Freddy

Emily and Maddy

Me and Em and Abby, Maddy and Freddy

Julie putting her kids in the car

Yesterday Em and I met my friend Julie and her kids at the park. I haven't seen her in a very long time. She has twins, Freddy and Maddy, and an almost 3-year-old Abby. It was a fun day visiting. I really wanted to meet her kids and also hold those babies. Em and I were just saying a few days ago that we really wanted to hold a baby so it was perfect timing for us and there was one for each of us and we didn't have to fight over holding them. LOL. I think my blood pressure dropped major points just cuddling with them. They are really sweet and I could have held them even longer than I did. I got to feed them their bottle too!!. They have the sweetest faces and when they smile it just lights up. I love Maddy's red hair! There's something so relaxing about a baby and the way they smell and smile. So sweet! It took Abby a little bit to warm up to us but she eventually did. She had fun with all the friends she was making in the playground. She reminds me of Emily when she was her age. She's very girly. It was great seeing Julie and catching up on life. It was a really fun day and great to laugh and forget about everything for an afternoon. Thanks for driving down here to see us Julie!

Running From The Bull

Yes, this is my daughter hanging onto that wall for dear life because the bull behind her just chased her to that wall!!! She thought this was fun! She went with some friends this weekend to this event and decided to participate when given the chance. She said she had to sign a waiver in case of injury. I'm so glad she didn't tell me about this until after the fact. She wasn't alone in the ring. I don't know why, but when she told me what she did I just started cracking up. It's so her to try it. These pictures make me laugh.

A New Favorite Site

I haven’t been on here in a while. I have been swamped with work, hockey games, shopping for wedding dresses with my niece, and just life. I’m not the most consistent blogger in the world but I always come back eventually.

What I have been doing consistently is counting calories. Ever since my doctor told me my blood pressure was borderline hypertensive, to the point of possibly needing to go on medication, I’ve been watching my sodium and trying to exercise and lose some weight. I know that many things contribute to hypertension, including family history, which I can’t change, and stress, which I don’t always have control of either, but he also told me to watch salt and I was telling him I don’t add salt to anything and he opened my eyes to read labels and see how much salt is in the food I eat without me adding salt and even with eating diet food. I’m often shocked when I read a label of something I thought was fine, so much salt in so many foods. With my job, I type a lot of people in this same situation all the time and many times they get a chance to bring it down by diet and exercise alone so I begged my doctor to let me try that first and then if I know I’ve done everything that I possibly could I’ll know I need to take medicine. It’s for sure in my family history, my Mom had it, my Dad has it, my sister had it and my oldest brother takes medicine for it as well. I don’t want to mess around with it but I do want to at least try. I go back the first part of July so that’s my goal right now. I have done Weight Watcher’s off and on for as long as I can remember and it’s worked many times but because I have to watch sodium, the Lean Cuisine’s I live on when I’m on that diet don’t work for me anymore and the 2 point snacks are so high in salt so I decided to try something different. I do love WW though. I love watching the Biggest Loser show and I get how counting calories would work good because you know how many calories it takes to gain a pound and working out and burning calories would have a different meaning but I also knew I wouldn't get very many calories each day and with WW I could always work it in with flex points.

http://www.thedailyplate.com/

Anyway, I’m so excited about this web site. My sister-in-law Michelle told my sister-in-law Angela who told me and I’m obsessed with it. It’s perfect because it’s exactly what I’m doing and it also keeps track of calories, salt, fiber, etc. and it’s free! When I first started counting calories I bought all the Biggest Loser books and the small Calorie King book for my purse and a notebook to keep my sodium levels and calories written down. As time goes on, I find myself sitting at night catching up on my day and totalling everything instead of adding it as I eat it, I don’t look forward to that part at all!!. I keep it in my head a lot and am bad at writing it down. This site does it all for me and even tells me how many more calories I have left for the day. I LOVE it. Since I’m at my desk the majority of the day working I just keep it minimized and when I eat something it’s so easy to put it in there. I love the history on the side because I’m a creature of habit for sure and eat a lot of the same things so they are right there. It even found my Golden Spoon yogurt nutrition information and my chocolate raspberry creamer that I refuse to give up. There are so many foods in the search section that it finds for you. It’s great. The reality aspect of what I eat is right up there in a circle of how much percentage of my intake is fat, carbs and protein and I’m way up in the carb department, which doesn’t surprise me!!!.

Now, I have to tackle the exercise part. I really hate to exercise. One of my best friends and I try to walk together every day but some days we are just swamped and we decide to do our own thing at home and although I do have an elliptical machine and a treadmill at home, it takes more motivation than I have sometimes to do it. I’ve been trying to do the elliptical while watching a show I have taped on Tivo to take my mind off it but I hate it. When my friend and I walk we talk and talk and catch up on things and time goes by fast, sometimes we are in the middle of a story and decide to do an extra lap so we can finish the story. I’m not that motivated at home. Anyways, thanks Michelle and Angela!

Brendan Is Licensed Driver!

Brendan got his driver's license a few days ago! He's so happy. He doesn't have a car to drive of his own though but he, unlike Emily, isn't picky about what he drives. He's happy to drive any car he can. He's funny because he keeps thinking of places to go just so he can take my car and go driving. He just had to go to Guitar Center to get strings for his guitar all of a sudden, it couldn't wait! I remember when I got my license, I did the same thing. I drove my Mom’s Blue LTD. It was so big but my friends and I didn’t care! He's a good driver though. I have to admit, I'm not the one who really taught him to drive. I'm just a horrible back seat driver and have just recently remained calm enough to go with him. It wasn't anything to do with him, it's just me! Now he drives every time we go somewhere together. I'm thankful to all who have helped teach him to drive before me. I’m really happy about the new law of needing your license for a whole year before driving someone under age in the car. It used to be six months. I think they need that much time to get some good experience. Anyway, I’m a little sad he doesn’t need me to drive him places! My baby is growing up!

My Niece Is Engaged!!!!!

Lauren got engaged yesterday with a well thought out proposal. Chris took her motorbike riding in the desert and after riding for a while they stopped to do some shooting, which Lauren is good at and really likes to do. He set up some rocks about 100 feet away for her to shoot and she got 3 for 3 and then he went to set up a target that he told her he made himself for them to practice on. He came back and said it was ready and she kneeled down to take the shot and looked through the scope and saw the target that read "Will you marry me?" and underneath that it said "yes or no" and she turned around to look at him and he was standing there with a tux on with a ring in his hand. She was speechless and started to cry. She said yes when he asked her to be his wife and then he said "are you going to shoot?" and she shot at the yes and hit it right on. So cute! He really spent time figuring out all the details. He asked Tom two weeks ago. He wore his tux under his riding clothes and somehow got them off quickly before she turned around. He also planned at home, by setting it up in the street, how far away the target needed to be away for her to be able to read the words. After that, he planned a romantic lunch that he packed. They plan on getting married next year this time. I know my sister would be so happy because she loved Chris and just knew they were going to get married! I'm so happy for her.

My Baby Is In Alaska

Emily left for Alaska a few days ago to where Steven is stationed. She is getting to be quite the traveler. She takes so much stuff with her each time though. She thinks she needs a jacket for each day and a ton of clothes to choose from because “she doesn’t know what she’ll feel like wearing that day”. I get it though; I guess it’s a girl thing. Last time she went we had to pay an extra $25.00 both directions because her suitcase was over the limit. This time we weighed it before and she was up to 62 pounds at one time and then we took out her laptop and worked and worked to get it under 50 pounds and then finally realized she needed to take two bags if she really wanted to take everything she planned. We finally made it weigh 48 pounds and then she had another bag too. She has it streamlined to where she only takes a big purse on the plane with her so she doesn’t have to mess with anything else. We were laughing about her first trip and how much she took as a carry on. She had movies, her laptop, and just so much stuff and it was a hassle when she had a layover and so heavy to carry.

Her trip started off great and even took off early from here and then in Seattle the plane they were going to get on was struck by lightening on the way in so there was over an hour delay so they could check out the plane (you know I had Brendan Google what happens to an airplane when it gets hit by lightening… ) I was nervous they were putting them on that same plane and they kept extending the time so I just knew they found something wrong!!! . She was also so tired because she takes Dramamine when she flies to help her sleep on the flight and she had already taken it. She finally took off and got to Alaska an hour or so late. She said it was a really bumpy flight. They are supposed to have snow flurries on Sunday and she said it’s cold. She’s happy to be there though! I’m a freak when she flies and I track her flight and keep refreshing the page very often! I figure if they are still updating that page she is still in the air…she calls me the minute they touch down so she beats the updates on the computer!

I miss her! Brendan really misses her too. She has been so stressed out with school so I’m happy she is able to spend her spring break having fun but I’ll be happy when she gets home.

Brendan's First Job

Brendan has been working at the local parks as a referee for basketball. He looks so cute in his uniform. He had to go to classes and then take a test to get hired. I’ve obviously been around sports and to enough games my whole life to know what parents and coaches (and kids) do to the referee so I was nervous for him. You’d think with it being park league there wouldn’t be any issues with parents or coaches but not so….they are just as bad. Oh my gosh! Why is it that when your team is losing it’s always the referees’ fault? LOL. He did so good though and he was tipped off by experienced referees before a game of who will probably explode on them if their team gets behind. He had fun and is loving getting the paychecks each week and even bought XBox 360. The next sport through the parks is baseball….he hasn’t decided yet if he wants to do that one. My thoughts immediately go to my brother Terry getting kicked out the game for harassing the umpire when he coached baseball and my Mom with a horrified look on her face in the stands!! The paranoid Mom in me is thinking he should wait for flag football!

He had no idea that one day when I dropped him off I got out of the car and took these pictures. He looks so cute!

Missing My Sister

Tom and Laurie



Josh, Nichole and Lauren


Me and my sister :)

I look at the date of my last blog and my first thoughts are I wish it were still that date. I had no idea how much my life would be forever altered the next time I came on here to blog.

Since my sister died I was thinking I would probably never blog again because I couldn’t think of anything positive I could write about life. Even though I’m going through the motions of everyday life, it’s tough and there’s always that sadness in the back of my mind and feeling in my stomach. The pain runs so deep that I have to put myself in “denial” mode a lot to get through most things. I can go from no tears to sobbing in seconds with no warning. Just the other day, I was in my car singing to the radio and I started thinking about her and I started crying out of nowhere. I know it takes time to get through the grieving and I know God will get me through it but some days I don’t see it happening ya know? I know time will help but it won’t ever take it away. I’ve been reading books and praying and reading my bible and trying to keep busy and just surrounding myself with as much helpful things I can. It helps to talk to other people who are feeling that same way and can relate to the pain. Even though sometimes we might bring each other down, there’s therapy in talking about it. I talk to Nichole, Tom, Lauren and Josh often and we talk about Laurie and our feelings. I can only imagine the deeper pain they are going through losing a wife and mother. My heart aches for them always. Laurie would be so incredibly proud at how they are handling this and how they are living their lives. I know our brothers and their families are also missing her so much and we talk about her a lot together too. She has touched many lives. I still run into people who didn’t know what happened and their response is always touching. Everyone loved her and has a sweet story about her.

Last night I was really down and sad and I was looking through pictures and just thinking of so many memories. I know anyone who knows her has many memories of their own. I decided to share some of mine on my blog.









Besides just memories of things we did, I remember what a great person she was. She was so genuinely nice. She really cared about people a lot and was always willing to jump in and help if needed. She was so fun. We had so much fun together whatever we did. We could be stuck in traffic, waiting in a huge line someplace or having someone cut in front of us in line and we’d just look at each other and start laughing. She had a great sense of humor. We would start laughing uncontrollably at things that no one else would get. So many times it was at inappropriate times and if I was trying to stop laughing and be serious she would always make me laugh and sometimes it would get us in trouble. I can still see her covering her mouth and turning her head to try and get control. This is one of my favorite things to think about because that happened often.



I love this picture of her laughing.



She was loyal to her friends and family. I always knew I could count on her. She’s been there for me so much over the years. She was a great sister. She was an awesome Mom. Her kids were her world. She was so proud of them. When we were out she would always be on the lookout for something they might need, whether it was socks for Josh or something to go in the “box” she was working on to send to Nichole or “snacks” for Lauren, I can hear her saying “Lauren loves snacks”. She loved her kids and was so proud of them. She was very devoted to her husband as well and was an incredible wife to him.

We had our routine. I’d usually call her on my way home from dropping Brendan off at school in the morning and she’d be on her way to work at that time. Most days we’d talk until she got to work and even into the elevator. We’d talk on and off all day. As sisters do, we just called each other about every little thing that happened to us or if we had some exciting news or bad news or just wanted to take a break from work and just random things that wouldn’t mean anything to anyone else. She’d always call when she was walking over to the hospital to make a deposit for work. She’d always call on her lunch, usually she was watching her soaps. I called her all day too. Because we both work on computers all day, we’d E-mail throughout the day too. I was telling Nichole a story the other day that runs in my head a lot. If there was drama at work and she wanted to vent but couldn’t really talk, she’d call me and cup her hand around her mouth and the phone give me short words and I’d have to guess who she was talking about and then decode what happened. She would be whispering most of the conversation. She would always say “Can you hear me?” over and over. It was funny. I can still hear her doing that. She would also call me on her way home from work. To this day, if I look at the clock and it’s close to 5:15 I feel a little emotional just wishing my phone could ring and I’d see her name come across. Emily and I were at the house the other day waiting for Lauren to open the door and I said "I just wish Aunt Laurie would answer the door".

She was truly my best friend. We could sit for hours and talk on the phone about nothing. Sometimes on Sundays we’d read the sale ads together over the phone and tell each other to look on a certain page of a certain ad. We loved to talk about our shows we had in common. She would get frustrated if I had it on Tivo and hadn’t watched it yet. She always knew how to get us home when we were lost, which happened often. We went to concerts that were places I couldn’t even get to or home from. We just had to find a freeway and she knew where to go. I was 14 when she got married and I was her Maid Of Honor (and she was mine). We shared a room and I remembering being so sad when she moved out. We had so much fun when she started her family. She was so young. They were like dolls to us and we had so much fun changing their clothes and taking them places. She was also a great aunt and my kids were very close to her have so many great memories and miss her so much. Brendan told me the other day he remembers how she’d say “Hi Bren” in a certain tone of voice every time she saw him, even during the end days she did that. She loved all her family and nieces and nephews so much.



We were pretty spur of the moment people and we always knew the other was up to pretty much anything. I could call her and say, there’s a concert tomorrow at the Greek Theater that I really want to go to, let’s get tickets…she’d always say yes. We loved to go to concerts. She loved Kenny Chesney. She would always say “Kenny makes me happy”. We’ve gone to so many concerts together and have gotten backstage at a few. We’ve done some fun random things over the years, taking the Hollywood tour of stars homes, getting up at 2 a.m., when we went to bed at 1 a.m., to go to the Pirates of The Caribbean premiere at Disneyland just to stand in line for too many hours to wait for the Red Carpet walk, we’ve gotten up at 3 a.m. to get in line at a particular store for the after Thanksgiving sales, we used to go to Disneyland very often and sometimes would just walk around and go on absolutely nothing but had so much fun. Sometimes we would just go to Downtown Disney just to get our walking in and try to go in every single store to hit ones we had never been in before. We would put our pedometers on and just walk Disneyland too. I remember when we found a store on Main Street that had a section in the back with scrapbook stuff and we were so excited. We used to love the Rice Krispie treats with M&Ms in them at Disneyland on Main Street. We used to share one and somehow count it on our diet. She loved Christmas and loved to shop for Christmas presents. She took pride in each gift she bought. If she had something in mind for someone she wouldn’t settle for anything else. She loved to bake and always baked extra to give away to other families. At our holiday family gatherings we’d all look forward to her baked goodies.



Backstage with B.J. Thomas



Backstage with Vince Gill

I have so many memories of fun times. So many times we’d be somewhere and say to each other “Are we crazy?” What were we thinking? and laugh about it. We have joined Weight Watchers so many times and have had many “last meals” the night before. One time we went to Chili’s and it was so crowded but we waited and ended up eating our “last meal” at 9:00 at night and were miserable! We had to do it though because it would be a while before we could do it again.

I knew we did a lot together but took for granted the little things we did like if one of us was invited to some kind of party, Tupperware, birthday, etc. we usually brought the other along. So many things have come up since she’s been gone and I’ve just not been able to go to things yet. It made me realize the little things that will be missed as well. We knew a lot of each other’s friends. It was just second nature to call each other when we were going somewhere too. We’d almost never go anywhere without inviting the other to come along, picking up one of our kids from somewhere, rescuing one of our kids who locked their keys in the car, even the grocery store we went together a lot.



Disneyland Memories


We had our favorite card game called “nerts”. We couldn’t remember who ever taught us that game. We have been playing it since we were little. We would have an ongoing game our whole vacation. We have even taught other people in our family to play too. As kids, we would play it in our motor home and when my Dad would turn corners we would lay over our game to keep it from falling off. We would be at the Grand Canyon and be upset that we had to leave our game to go see it! We also got those word search books and we would get the same one and then do the same puzzle and race to finish first. We would also sit in the back of our motor home and close the curtain to the front and open the windows on each side and sing as loud as we could out the windows. We always had fun and were very animated.

She also got me into scrap booking and we were each in the middle of doing an album when she got sick and she often talked about needing to do it throughout her whole sickness. We would turn on music and talk and have a fun night. Lauren would join us sometimes and Laurie and I would be amazed at how creative she was, she blew us away.

We went through some tough times together too with our parents. There were so many times we’ve sat at a hospital together or doctor visits or just at home with them at different times when they were going through something. I couldn’t have gotten through the situation with my Mom or my Dad without her. We just knew we had each other and we’d never make the other do it alone. If my Dad’s home called and he needed something, we always went together. If either our Mom or Dad were agitated and having a bad time we sat with them together.

It’s been so long since I’ve heard her voice or seen her and I can’t grasp the concept that I’ll never be able to do that again until we are in heaven together. I have no doubt that she’s in heaven and my faith is strong and I know there’s a reason but I do not understand it now. My every single day is altered so much. I’m so sad for Josh, Nichole, Lauren and Tom too. I know time will probably make things less painful but the sadness will never go away. I know there’s nothing that can make it better right now, even though I know where she is. It’s just part of grieving I guess. I know our whole family, brothers, sister-in-laws, nephews, nieces and her friends all miss her so much. I guess I want to end this by saying what an amazingly strong person Laurie was through this whole ordeal. She had faith and hope and never gave up. She stayed so strong and her biggest concern was not letting everyone down or having anyone be sad or feel sorry for her. In my last real conversation with her a few days before she died she felt so bad that she didn’t buy me a Christmas present and she made me agree that we were going to go shopping together soon so I could pick something out. So sweet! I’m proud of her and how she lived her life. I miss her so much.

Update

I'm getting complaints that I don't update my blog enough..LOL. Life is so busy right now. I got a new transcription account that keeps me so busy that I don't have time to do anything fun to even write about (except for babysitting my cute nephews..which was a nice break). I'm determined to get to Disneyland one day this weekend. I'm also missing scrapbooking. I do have a concert coming up the end of the month too! :)

Brendan is camping at a lake all week and will be home on Friday. I really miss him but he's having fun. He has been riding a sea-doo alot and excited he is old enough to actually drive it himself. They go on the boat every day all-day-long, wakeboarding, etc.. He's been a good boy and called his paranoid mom in the morning and evening, as I requested. Gary was teasing me that my umbilical cord didn't reach that far...I'm for sure out of my comfort zone! He's my baby. He's funny because he is having fun but he's missing his normal life here...playing Halo 2 on X-box live with our neighbor every single night until midnight, he missed a hockey game so he had me look up the game and see who won and go into the details of who did what, there's no Internet there.., etc. He sold his Guitar Hero II to someone, since he conquered it, and he was saving to by Wii but now Em got into it with her friends so she went and bought it again while Brendan was gone so we told him and now he's itching to play that again. I think he'll be ready to come home tomorrow.

Emily is getting ready for Steven to come home tomorrow from Alaska. He will be home for two weeks and then goes back to Alaska but will more than likely be sent to Afghanistan in November. Pretty scary. I'm excited for her though. She really misses him. They have a lot of fun stuff planned, Sea World, skydiving, Disneyland, etc. She is going to LAX tomorrow by herself to pick him up....she doesn't want anyone to go with her......should be an experience.

Along with my crazy work schedule, we are dealing with the caretakers for my Dad and trying to figure out whether or not to put him in a home or try to work something out with the caretakers. I knew this day would come for him but it's heartbreaking. It's so hard to see him going through this. He tries so hard to tell us things but we can't understand him and that's what makes me so sad. I hate that he can't talk to us. I remember when my Mom died I kept thinking I wish I could hear her voice again. Such a sad disease. He pretty much is 100% care with needing to be fed, help walking, can't drink by himself, etc. so it takes a whole different turn when we are looking for places or caretakers. We are also having medication issues and that's a whole other story that gives Laurie and I both a headache!

Well, there's my life right now. I'm actually not hating my heavy work schedule, which is nice. I've learned over the years I guess. In the past I've taken accounts and wondered what I've gotten myself into but so far I'm OK. I have a good network of help when needed too, which I will use. Can't pass up the good money!

I decided that I won't like it when my kids get old enough and move out. Em has been busy this week and with Brendan gone too I miss my kids. One night she did stay home with me and we got salads from her work (B.Js) and brought them home and hung out together, which was nice. It's nice to have some alone time but after too much I want them back home real quick. :)

THE IMPACT OF KIND WORDS

A few days ago I was talking to someone on the phone, who I don't talk to on a regular basis, maybe every three or four months, and in our conversation she just casually mentioned that she prays for me and asked if there is something specific I'd like her to pray about for me. It just caught me off-guard. I don't know why but I was so touched that she said that. Nobody ever asks that. I pray for people too but I never actually ask if they have anything in particular they'd like me to pray for on an everyday basis, unless it's an obvious thing they are going through and asking for prayer. Some people don't even know I pray for them.

I get caught up in my world and I'm really good at focusing on other people and doing things for them and helping others but I'm horrible at asking for help when I really need something, I don't want to put anyone out. I see a lot of my Mom in me in this department so much. She didn't like a lot of attention put on her. I always say if I ever needed an ambulance I'd try and drive myself there first because I wouldn't want them to have to come. I don't often ask anyone to pray for me. She had no idea how much it meant to me. I guess just coming from someone I don't get to talk to enough it was touching that she would even think of me in between phone calls.

I guess what I'm trying to say is it reminded me that we never know what kind of day someone is having or what they might be going through and how something we say could have an impact on them without even meaning to, even just something little. I'm sure she had no idea it affected me.

I'm A Proud Mom

Brendan has a white helmet on.





I love this picture. Brendan used to coach a

team of 3-year-olds at the YMCA and this

little boy used to idolize Brendan. He even had

the same jersey number #6 (which Brendan still has and
has had from day one of playing hockey). He would
also wear his hat backwards like Brendan did back then.
So cute! We still keep in touch with him and his
family. They've gone to Kings games together. This
picture was taken about 4 years ago. My baby has
grown so much. He looks so small here.

Jr. Ice dogs
Brendan with some of his favorite Kings players outside the rink where they practice.

It was in his blood at 2 when all he wanted to do was play hockey video games.

I was hesitant to let Brendan play in this league he’s in right now for hockey. It’s a “select team” that he had to try out for and he is playing with 18-year-olds. It’s a full-checking league, meaning they slam you against the boards at full strength! He plays at Anaheim Ice (where the Anaheim Ducks practice, formerly Disney Ice). I was really nervous because I was thinking these kids would be just huge compared to Brendan with bigger attitudes but I really don’t notice a big difference.

What I’ve noticed this season is how much Brendan has matured with self control. He is so hard on himself and would always get so mad if he felt like he played bad or if the goalie did bad or nobody was passing, etc…It was always a long ride home when they lost or if he didn’t score. It ruined his night. (I know, it runs in my family with my older brother but I’m breaking the cycle..Ha). They would post the stats from the game on the Internet the next day and he would wait impatiently for them to post and would study the stats and was always in competition with somebody to have the most goals and would be battling it out for 1st place in goals and assists. He knew what team he was playing next and knew if it was a team with someone on it he was close to in standings in goals and assists. It was an unhealthy competition. It always frustrated me that he would get so mad and I always threatened to take him out of sports if he didn’t stop….all these years.

This season he is on probably the worst team he’s ever been on but with the best attitude he’s ever had. I guess he grew up or has been humbled by this team and by not being in the top two in the whole league for points and goals and the pressure to stay up there isn’t there. We didn’t know anything about this league or the coaches when we signed him up. He was asked by someone to try out so he did and he went to his first practice and it got canceled (without prior notice) so a team that was on the ice practicing let him practice with them and he really liked them and the coach so he asked at the front desk if there was room on that team and they let him switch (he had never met the other coach or team yet). It just so happens that the coach of this team he switched to is getting married this weekend so has really not been there for this team. They haven’t had a lot of practice and so when out there they aren’t really in-tune with each other regarding passing so they are kind of on their own not knowing who to pass it to.


After their fourth loss the other night I was shocked when Brendan said he doesn’t even care if they lose, he’s just having fun and loves the game and just wants to play!! WHAT?? I was proud of him. In the past he would have complained that he wanted off this team and how he should have stayed on the first team (who are doing really, really well). Of course, in this league they post the stats the minute the game ends so the first thing he did when he got home was make sure they gave him credit for his goal online but they lost 6-1 so it I guess it’s just his subtle satisfaction to see it. He didn’t say anything about it. I actually enjoy his games so much more now!! He really loves this game!